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Hi. I am Minyi and i'm fun most of the time! My favourite pastimes are fangirling, reading, and watching my favourite tv series/drama.

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be stronger and braver, be your own hero;
Haven't been myself these days
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
I am getting mixed feelings these days. Not really sure why. 

Today I felt like I was too awkward and I came to a conclusion that I am actually not a outgoing person. Well mostly because I don't know what to say in good conversations but I guess the thing is to keep quiet if you have nothing to say? 

(I am supposed to be doing CAs but I feel like blogging my feelings.) 

The feelings stirring inside is so painfully weird. I feel so not myself today. Maybe I'm judging myself too hard, or trying to maintain. I'm sorry if I have been acting weird and pissed off with the people around me. It must be the stress due to projects. 

Today, I felt like my life isn't very interesting at all. I can't seem to come out with ideas for my stories. Sometimes, I wish my ideas weren't that all cheesy or maybe I could have been born early and come up with great ideas. 

Because of this, I started to observe. To see the things around me, and I realised how caught up with have been with technology. It's entertainment on the go. But nowadays, nobody talks to the person beside him/her anymore. Not like what they do in airplane scenes in movie - you talk to the hot dude and you fall in love later on the movie. 

Just weird, because I'm all over the place. I need to get myself organised. 

I need to clear my heart. 



It feels like a heartbreak
Sunday, May 18, 2014
I'm not sure what i am feeling for the past few days. The thing is this day came to quickly. 

I never expected anyone of them, to file for a contract nulification. Not after all this, not after winning awards and promising to prove themselves to be better to us, to show us a better side. 

It must have been hard for Kris to come to this. To fight for himself, his own rights. He wants to chase his dreams - just like anyone else. 

As a fan, i will support his decision, wish for him to be happy. But it's hard to not see him performing anymore. When we look back at exo performing songs like growl, wolf and mama, he will no longer be there. He will no longer be sing his lines. It hurts because I haven't been to their first solo concert yet. Complaining about no money is me, but i shouldn't have because you never what is going to happen. 

He left before their first world tour. He left before he saw the whole galaxy outside Korea/Japan. 

He left before rest of the fans from the rest of the world could see the twelve of them stand on that stage i always dreamt of. 

He left before i could meet him face-to-face. Even if you meet him at airport, he will no longer be known as EXO's leader - Kris. But as the one who left EXO, as himself, Wu Yi Fan.

I know it's selfish of me to say this - i wish he never left. I wished he stayed and talked it out with the fucking company who has money but does not shit with the fucking money their artists earns. 

I wanna to see them on stage as OT12. But you know it'll never happen. Just like Super Junior and DBSK. 

This must be what the fans has felt. The emptiness of not seeing all the member on stage. 

I wanna scream and hit him and tell Kris that he should cancel the lawsuit and get his ass back to exo. 

But i can't because I'm no one. 

I'm just a fan who loves exo. And exo doesn't even know me. 

It hurts sometimes
Thursday, May 15, 2014
It's not the loneliness sometimes. But it's how the situation makes me feel I guess.

You know how it's the period where CAs flood us in. And being sick isn't the best situation to be in right now. I need sleep.

waking up every single day at 5pm is no joke. and I didn't even talk about the time i sleep. last night, i slept around 12.30am plus because housework happen.

It made me think how hard it was to be a student and to help out with household chores. It not fair sometimes. But I swallow everything and do it. Honestly, nobody is going to do it unless it's me. everyone complains they are busy and tired.

but it is not like polytechnic is some kind of heaven.

I am so tired. It's hard to concentrate because of the aches. I should really be doing RIT now but who cares. Honestly nobody does.

So much things to do. So little time.

always.

Today, i am sadden at the fact that Kris filed a lawsuit against SM. I completely did not see this coming. I still don't know what I feel or what I believe. I just hope SM gets their shit together. I will still love EXO as 12. Galaxy will be our forever.

time to get some shit CA done.


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